I think my love of playing the amateur sleuth started when I was an inquisitive nipper. If I wasn’t watching the ultimate guess-the-murderer sleuth show, Whodunnit?, on the telly I had my head buried in a book living the adventures and crime-solving ways of Frank and Joe Hardy. To me, at the tender of eight, The Hardy Boys were the epitome of what I wanted to be when I was older. They were smart, they got to travel the world, they lived life on the edge fighting hungry sharks and rampaging bulls and they occasionally met up with one of my early crushes, the dynamic and gorgeous Nancy Drew. If ever there were necessary encouragement to find out just who the wicked culprit was behind the villainous deeds laid out on the pages then the love of Ms Drew was it.

Looking at it now, with my supposedly grown-up head on, I guess that I have always ‘loved to guess’. Watching a mystery is like piecing together an intricate jigsaw puzzle and each solution helps form the complete picture. With Whodunnit? it wasn’t so much my love of Jon Pertwee as the eccentric host, or the team of hapless 70s celebs trying to fathom who did what to who and why, it was the joy of sitting at home watching the mystery unfold and trying to fathom out whether the killer was indeed a woman spurned, a jealous ex-lover or a dotty family member. When the villain finally revealed themselves by standing up at the end of the programme I would squeal with glee if I had managed to guess, as the show said, who-dunnit. If it wasn’t for the fact that the path to solving a crime is littered with all sorts of life-threatening danger I would quite happily consider being a private dick. I adored the glamour of Charlie’s Angels, the campery of Hart To Hart and the high-octane romp of Tales Of The Gold Monkey. All of them were mysteries waiting to be solved. I lived them, I breathed them and once in a while I even managed to solve them.

Even the TV cartoon detectives I used to lap up pressed my buttons when it came to unmasking a wrong-doer. The gang from Scooby Doo made me constantly want to hitch a lift in the Mystery Machine, Captain Caveman was totally watchable because of the Teen Angels sticking their powdered noses into any unsolved crime and even your more ‘unusual’ private eyes like Hong Kong Phooey, Secret Squirrel and Inch Eye Private Eye could count me as a fan from their first investigation.

The top dog of all things mysterious though has to be the wonderful Agatha Christie. If ever there was a person who could weave a web of total magic when it came to setting up the ultimate mystery then it was and always will be The Queen Of Crime herself. Whether it be on the pages of one of her books, an adaptation on the silver screen or television or on a theatre stage as portrayed by the brilliant Agatha Christie Theatre Company, there is no-one who can compare for cleverness, cunning and clue-covered storytelling to Agatha. The first ‘grown up’ books I ever read when I was a child were The ABC Murders, And Then There Were None and Murder On The Orient Express. They are still three of my all-time favourites – muti-layered in their genius. As a budding author who has a touch of mystery and whodunnit in both of the books I have written so far I can only salute the rich tapestry of Agatha’s page-turning tales. They are simply works of art and in my opinion, no-one will ever better her.

One of the best TV shows I have ever presented was a literary Harper Collins programme showcasing the launch of Christie’s world-record-breaking biggest book ever (all of her works in one HUGE bound book) on shopping channel Ideal World. I was in my element talking about how her books have shaped my life. Whether your crime-solver of choice is the brainy busybody Miss Marple (Margaret Rutherford’s cinematic portrayal is still my favourite), the dapper duo of Tommy & Tuppence or the debonair Hercules Poirot whose intellect is sharper than his moustache tips and his manner slicker than his waxed back locks, they are all literary Gods. Agatha Christie makes you think, she wakes up your senses, she gets, as Poirot would say ‘the grey cells’ going like no other. The best author ever – it has to be Agatha, and that, my friends, is no mystery…

The year started with the announcement that my ‘TV Wife’, the hugely talented and gorgeous soul that is Stephanie Weightman, had decided to move on from Create & Craft and Ideal World in order to pursue her crafty ways elsewhere. When Steph first told me I was completely heartbroken as my initial thought was ‘no, things will never be the same again, it’ll be like Phil without Fern, Burton without Taylor, Clyde without Bonnie’ (I love a slice of melodrama!), but then Steph actually said that she was just giving up the presenting side of things to concentrate on getting wonderful new products together to bring to air as a guest. Despite the fact that I miss our cosy dressing room chats over a mug of tea and a packet of Gypsy Cremes on a daily basis, the fact that Steph now gets to come to C&C and craft like the Queen she truly is for all to see instead of having to bleat on about stock updates makes perfect sense. Not that it will ever change the Steph-sized hole in my heart on the days she’s not at the studios and yes, her last day was a blub-fest from everyone.

On a crafty level, 2011 has been a corker. With major events like Summer Crafting and the NEC as well as trips to everywhere from Preston and Hull through to Belfast and Nottingham  I have managed to get up close and personal with more creative people than ever before. In 2012, with the Crafty Cruise setting sail for foreign lands in May (I must buy a sailor suit in the sales!) and with more events lined up I intend to try and spread myself even further. And hopefully 2012 will be the year that I finally get to do something crafty that I have been itching to do for ages. It’s going to be amazing!!!

Away from the world of TV my main passion has been my novel writing and all of my friends will know that I have a deep-seated personal mission to get my books onto the shelves of the nation’s bookstores and supermarkets at some point in the future. Having seen two dear friends have rightful major success with their books I am hoping that my spicy beach-reads can follow suit. Racy, pacy, action-packed and as sinfully wicked and gossipy as a room full of Loose Women I have everything crossed that 2012 is the ‘year of the book deal’. Feedback has been good and with a new powerhouse of a literary agent on board I can but wait and pray and wait a bit more. One day you wil be packing me into your holiday suitcases between your suntan lotion and your hot pants I promise….talking of which…

Packing my passport has been a major part of 2011 with international jaunts to Mexico, Berlin, Amsterdam, Gran Canaria and Paris dotted throughout the year. Puerto Vallarta in Mexico was the main holiday back in February which brought out the action men in me and the other half – zip-lining across the Mexican rainforest and horse-riding through the jungles being two thigh-chaffing highlights. Believe you me, a day in the saddle makes you crave a few days of doing nothing but sunbathing on the beach staring out to sea with a cocktail in your hand – which is just what we did. Pure tequila-soaked bliss!

I could ramble for hours talking about each and every single event that has been a vital stitch in the tapestry of the past 12 months but this blog could then take days for any passing browser to read, so I shall bring it to an end by mentioning a few highlights. Meeting new friends in foreign lands and wishing farewell to best ones as they headed off for a new life in Brazil (see you boys in Feb 2012!) have been joyful. Hosting the big Summer BBQ with the Mexican flavour had me as giddy as a jumping bean and skydiving out of a plane for the first time and raising £10K for charity was deeply satisfying and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Seeing my sister, Debs, celebrate her 50th birthday was a joy and in fact seeing everything now without the aid of contact lenses of glasses after being lasered by Optimax was one of the best decisions ever. Then there was meeting one of the biggest movers and shakers in the world of TV and being able to share ideas with him face to face – it makes me think that the future could be a corking one.

On a personal level, without reaching gush factor 10, there are certain people in my life who mean so much. I feel blessed that they are there. They know who they are and I adore them all. To anyone reading this, can I wish you all a Happy New Year, a healthy and prosperous 2012 and here’s hoping that the twelve months ahead deliver a smorgasbord of adventures that we can all dive into with relish. With a trip to Rio, new crafty horizons and a Steps concert already marked in the diary for 2012 I know it’s going to be a good one!

Christmas for me starts in the first week of December when the tree is unpacked from its hiding place in the loft and dusted down ready for decorative action. We always have a fake one because owning a dog who likes to sniff and mooch around any dangly object hanging from the branches and a puss who would beat any bauble into glittery submission are not exactly condusive to having an authentic real pine tree. Every year I take a great joy in sifting through the decorations and working out some kind of theme. Normally it will just end up a blitz of colour as I try to festoon every branch and inch of the tree with snowflakes, tinsel, angels, sparkly reindeer and crafted baubles. This year I decided to go for a little extra touch of campery (go figure!) with the introduction of my ‘Happy Ever Divas’ theme. Anyone who knows me will have worked out that I have a huge love of all things glam and soapy (as in soap opera, not as in giving yourself a pit-wash!) so with the glittery photo frames bedecking the  tree this year I decided to add my own little special touch of USA Glam – hence the appearance of my three favourite soap divas ever – Stephanie Beacham (Sable from The Colbys), Kate O’Mara (Caress from Dynasty) and the queen of them all, Joan Collins (Alexis from Dynasty). I love my UK soaps too but I hardly thought a tree featuring Becky, Hayley and Fiz from Coronation Street would have looked so OTT and fabulous.

I may be well past the age where I’m leaving out carrots and a mince pie for Santa on Christmas Eve but one of my best Christmas memories ever was a trip to Lapland to meet the man himself with my lovely friend Julie and my godson Jonah a few years ago. It was completely magical. We landed in the frosty wastes of Lapland and were transported to the ice-covered kingdom where Santa and his helpers did their festive thing. We were greeted by reindeers and huskies, jetted around on snowmobiles and treated to sleigh rides in the most perfect snow-covered world I have ever seen. And naturally we got to meet the Big Man himself before he set off to deliver gifts to boys and girls worldwide. I may have been mid-30s at the time but I was completely swept away with the wonderment of the wintry world and couldn’t stop smiling for days.

The gap between each Christmas may seem to get smaller year upon year (definitely an age thing!) but I never fail to enjoy the big day itself. Luckily I am married to an amazing chef so while they busy themselves with turkey and the trimmings I get to sit down with a Snowball in one hand (the alcoholic one, not the white fluffy one) and the remote control in the other. Flicking between the Top Of The Pops Christmas special, the re-runs of Morecambe & Wise (classic Christmas fodder) and a liberal dose of the blub-fest It’s A Wonderful Life is my idea of heaven. My late mum would always be sure to tune in for the Queen’s Speech at 3pm as well – it was a tradition that had to be kept – so if I’m still awake at three and not dosing on the sofa with my Christmas hat all skew-whiff then I tend to tune into Her Madge too.

Enjoy your Christmas whatever you’re up to. It’s a time for family, friends and being with those you love. I shall be toasting the year gone by and looking to the future and whatever the year ahead has in store. I am hoping for great things in 2012 so shall channel positive thoughts. Maybe I should kneel in front of my Christmas Tree and pray to the ‘Christmas Divas’ to make all my wishes come true!! You see, if I did that with a real Christmas Tree I’d have pine needles in my knees…not a good look. Happy Christmas one and all – eat, drink and be very very merry!!!!

Ellis may be able to reach high notes worthy of a wannabe Sarah Brightman and Loen may be excellent when it comes to belting out a line with oom-pah-pah gusto and at a force ten quota of decibels, but the rest of us quake as soon as we are asked to sing for our supper. Give me endless hours of live TV every day presenting everything from pressure washers to pyramage and I am as happy as a pig in the dirty brown stuff, but squeeze me in front of a sound desk and try to get me warbling and I feel like a prize cow being sent to the slaughterhouse. Strange really, as when I’m in the shower or driving in the car or standing at a concert then I’m belting out my favourite (out of) tunes like an X Factor winner. But doubtless, if Gary Barlow, Kelly Rowland or the judge-meister himself, Simon Cowell, were to critique me they would say that if my voice were on a life support machine they would all be reaching in unison to pull the plug. In short, I am 100 per cent tuneless.

Which is why I always tend to get the comedic roles in our Christmas video. Two years ago it was twirling around and force-feeding mince pies to TV wifey Steph, last year it was out with the frock as I became the pantomime dame (something I loved despite the pain of the skyscraper heels – if I could actually sing I’d be putting myself forward for panto every year! Oh yes I would..!) and this year…well…here’s what happened…

Thankfully the viewing public of Ideal World and Create & Craft were spared our voices this year as the presenting team were merely required to mime. After a search around by the management a Dutch group called Swingfish were asked to fly into the country to perform a song they recorded a couple of years back called Ding Dong It’s Christmas. Apparently it was a massive underground and internet success over in mainland Europe, so the trio were thrilled to bring it to a new audience here in the UK. It’s a hugely catchy ditty and gets under your festive skin until you’re humming it all day long. Certain members of the team were asked to ‘support’ the band on set by acting as backing dancers (Leonie, Dean and myself), tambourine players (Dennice, Joanne and Dawn), drummer (Andy) and xylophonist (Shaun). It was wonderfully hilarious to film.

Andy stole the show in my opinion with his drumming. Even though a lot of his antics didn’t make the final cut let’s just say that he drums like a loon, making Animal from The Muppets look like a genteel musician from the London Philharmonic. And as for the attempted choreography from myself, Dean and Leonie, I hardly think the stars of Strictly Come Dancing have anything to worry about. Our combined six legs seemed to go in more directions than there are points on a compass – and never at the same time.

But who cares? The song is a bit of fun, is done for great reasons and if nothing else, has the ability to get people laughing at us. It was a massive joy to shoot and hopefully you love the end product. But listen to it a couple of times and the tune will speed its way into your brain like Santa’s reindeer racing across the night sky…you have been warned! Stay festive…

What’s not to like? Firstly I get to spend hours and hours meeting people who love watching Create & Craft. What could be better than that? As much as I love staring at a line-up of cameramen every day (and yes, some of the camera ops are women, but I’m using a collective term here) it’s so good to actually put faces to many of the names we see regularly on studio e-mails and getting face to face with people who watch from the comfort of their own homes. Without viewers there would be no channel. Secondly, it’s a perfect opportunity to catch up and craftily chat with old friends. For a few days there’s no more creative a melting pot in the entire length and breadth of the land. Whether your creative love is stamping, sewing, knitting, parching, quilling, CD-Romming, decoupaging or any other kind of ‘age’ you care to mention, there is something for everyone. And the fact people love zoning into C&C to watch all things crafty is incredibly humbling. I will never tire of hearing people say how much they love to tune in and be inspired by the shows and the multitude of guests on offer. At the NEC you are never more than a few hundred crafty yards from the TV likes of Nancy Watt, Sara Davies, Sheena Douglass, Debbi Moore, Ali Reeve, Barbara Gray, Christine Bell, Paul Church, Wendie Rhodes, Mel Heaton, The Glitter Girls and our very own Leonie, Dawn and my gorgeous TV wifey, Stephanie. It was truly magical.

Can I say thanks to every person I met while I was there and to every single smily individual of all ages (from the very young to the slightly more mature) who came up and shared a crafty smile and a story. It’s you guys who make my job just peachy. Sorry if that sounds schmaltzy, but d’you know what – I don’t care – I mean every word and would have stayed at the NEC longer had I not had to head back to Create & Craft towers for more on-air fun and games. Mind you, seeing as I’d already eaten my bodyweight in muffins, wine gums and battenburg while I was at the NEC maybe it was a good job I returned when I did….”N E C You Next Year Everyone”…I’m off to detox…

(PS: For those people who have actually read to the bottom of this blog can I just let you into a little secret. Ever wondered how ‘Lickle Leonie’ gets her hair straight for personal appearances. Well, believe it or not, she actually has her own personal hair-groomer who she takes everywhere with her. Here’s the proof – such a diva, that one…! I wonder if she’ll forgive me for letting the cat out of the bag! She works that poor girl like crazy!)

The reason we headed to gay Parie was to meet some lovely American friends who were weaving their way across France with their mum, which was reason enough in itself for le voyage. Delicious food, the tastiest wine, the most atmospheric of bars and the most joyous of conversation were an absolute treat and it’s lovely when you can share so many fabulous things with people you adore. But how anybody can fail to enjoy the majesty and the grandeur of the city of Paris itself is beyond me.

As my partner has never been to Paris before this was the perfect opportunity to really hit the tourist trail and visit as many of the city’s massive attractions as possible. First stop was Notre Dame, the gargoyle-bedecked cathedral famed for its two striking towers and its love affair between a beautiful gypsy girl and a hunchbacked creature. Staring up at the huge round window on its facade you can’t help but get swept away by the romance of it all. I was ready to reach for my tambourine and start dancing as soon as I spied it on the horizon.

The same has to be said for Paris’ most famous landmark, La Tour Eiffel. It is truly amazing and deserves its accolade as the most visited paid-for attraction in the world. One of the most famous erections on Planet Earth (yep, hands up if you’re expecting a cheeky quip from me now!) the journey to the top within the windowed elevators as you stare down across the intricate layout of the city takes your breath away (and in my case takes my mind off the fact that I’m not overly good with heights). Having booked in advance there was no need to queue (the best move ever – especially as you breeze past the ever-lengthening caterpillar of visitors) and as you peep through the meshwork nearly 900ft above the ground, you can’t help but wonder how Gustave Eiffel even began to imagine the construction of “The Iron Lady” back in 1889. Although in a completely polar-opposite point of reference I was also busy picturing Grace Jones as Mayday the Bond villainess as she launched herself from La Tour in A View To A Kill. But that’s moi for you…

I could spend les heures trying to persuade people to visit the Parisienne joys of the Sacre Coeur, how climbing the 300ish (I think) steps to the top of the Arc De Triomphe was so worth it (there is a lift, but it ne marched pas when we were there) and how a visit to the decadence and opulence of the Palace Of Versailles is nothing short of spectacular. Strolling around and feasting your eyes on the feather-decorated boudoir of Marie Antoinette and the magical musical fountains in the Versailles Gardens are an experience that tout le monde should try.

I am not employed by some French PR agency whose job it is to big up the sights of Paris, although I would thoroughly enjoy the job and do it with ease. I just think it’s fabulous that there is so much wonderment and grandiose joy a mere train journey away from the UK. It has everything you need and is accessible with no baggage allowances, no lengthy check in queues and no trying to squeeze your hand luggage into an overhead locker. J’adore la France! Especially if I have some comfortable walking shoes and some fabulous friends alongside me.

The only trouble is I’ve been speaking ‘Franglais’ ever since I arrived back home…but you may have noticed that, n’est ce pas?

Talking of Corrie, another fabulous ‘wonder woman’ production I saw not that long ago was pretty much a one-actress drama starring Stephanie Beacham. Famed on TV as Ken Barlow’s canal barge strumpet, Martha, on Coronation Street and as beautiful bitch, Sable, in 80s glam-soap The Colbys, she was phenomenal as the operatic diva, Maria Callas, in a two-hour plus look at the teaching methods of one of the singing world’s most revered stars. Beacham’s grasp of Callas’ accent and the directness with which she spoke were pure perfection and it was a performance that reached the high notes in more ways than one. Bravo La Beacham for sure.

One of my favourite actresses is the outstanding Kate O’Mara. I am so old-school when it comes to acting. While I can appreciate the joys of the Keira Knightley’s and the Megan Fox’s of this world at the cinema, I would much rather be sitting in front of a theatre stage just a few yards away from classic stars such as Dynasty, Dr Who and Triangle icon, Kate. In my younger days, and more recently on CBS Drama, I adored her on Dynasty as Alexis’s sister, Cassandra ‘Caress’ Morrell, the crafty sibling who turns up in Denver fresh from a stint in a Venezuelan prison. Such bitchery from the high-cheekboned vamp has always left me with a huge O’Mara -shaped soft spot in my drama-loving heart. So wherever Miss O’Mara goes, I have tried to follow. One of the most astounding pieces of theatre I have seen is Kate’s portrayal of perhaps the greatest vamp of them all, Marlene Dietrich, in the play Lunch With Marlene. At around 70, Kate proved she has legs, lungs and sex appeal that most women half her age can only dream of.

The reason I have been musing about all things theatrical is because in the last week I have been lucky enough to witness two rather fabulous ladies in the flesh. The first was Tracie Bennett as the pill-popping, spirit-swilling talent that was Judy Garland in End Of The Rainbow. Set just before her untimely death at the age of 47, the play tells the story of the one-time Dorothy’s crazy final days as she searches for the spotlight of fame on yet another tour whilst battling her own inner demons of drink and drugs. Bennett is beyond phenomenal. She sings the Judy classics as if they were written for her and it’s no wonder the show is heading to New York’s Broadway next year. I would travel to the end of any rainbow to see it again.

The other leading lady I have been lucky enough to see this week has been Joan Collins in her one-woman One Night With Joan stage show. The devilishly witty and gritty JC proved herself a wonderful raconteur as she regaled an enraptured (mostly male) audience with tales of her time in Hollywood, partying with stars like Gene Kelly and Marilyn Munroe and smouldering across the screen in Dynasty through to a not-so-glamorous turn in Empire Of The Ants. Joan’s world is evidently a beautiful one to be part of and at ’70 and then some’ her star is shining just as brightly and as beautifully lit as it ever was. A true female inspiration.

It may have been Scary, Ginger, Sporty & Co who coined the ‘girl power’ tag back in the 90s but leading ladies such as Kate, Joan and Stephanie were waving the ‘women power’ banner way before Posh Spice had even seen her first pair of vertigo-inducing Louboutins. I love them all…

Since I started at Ideal World and Create & Craft TV, there have been many themed shows which have allowed me to put my fashionista thinking cap on and decide on an outfit befitting a certain theme. The lovely Joanna Sheen and I still giggle about the time we were selling an American Frontier CD-Rom and turned the studio into the Create & Craft Saloon. Strangely enough I had a much-loved pair of leather chaps, a wild west shirt and a pair of cowboy boots in the wardrobe ready to go. Then there was the time that Rob Addams asked me to dress up as a wizardy type from days gone by for his Heraldry CD show. It was a look I was keen to revisit recently for a Jem’s Designs craft show featuring mystical and magical dragons and witches. A word of warning though – a flapping wizard’s sleeve and trying to keep sample cards upright on a counter do not go together – I was knocking them over faster than a crackshot bowler demolishes a set of wickets.

Last Christmas was a wonderful time for dressing up at work. When I was approached about playing the pantomime dame in our Ideal World/Create & Craft Christmas video I was thrilled. Wig in place, eyelashes and make-up positioned nicely and a swirly skirt and some heels and I was well away – camping it up more than normal. One day I would love to do panto, it’s just the obvious fact that my singing skills leave a lot to be desired that stops me from attempting it. I would be thrilled to spend four weeks every year screaming ‘behind you’ and ‘oh yes it is’ in full drag!

I was also asked to play another female character last year at work, but this wasn’t for on air. It was for our Christmas party and I was asked if I would give ‘The Alternative Queen’s Speech’. How could I resist? A few days later I found myself sitting underneath a portrait of Her Majesty, talking as if I’d been born with a canteen of silver spoons in my mouth and being waited on and served sherry by my butler, Hancox, whose ‘other job’ is being CEO of Ideal World – ie my big boss! The end result was something I was hugely proud of – and no, it will never see the light of day again!

The reason I have been contemplating the outfits I have slipped myself into over the years is because of a show I presented last week with the fabulously creative girls from Crafter’s Companion, Sara and Leann. Sara had recently purchased a Morph Suit for one of her wonderful team to try on. My sense of outfit-envy kicked in as soon as I saw it and I asked Sara if I could try it on. So she brought one to work. A Morph Suit, for those not in the know, is a skintight, all-in-one body stocking. It’s not particularly forgiving and any roll of lumpy-bumpy skin is highlighted as if under the Blackpool Illuminations. Knees look knobblier, stomachs look wobblier and bulges look…oh, you get the picture! Needless to say, when the girls turned up at Ideal World I was uber-keen to get it on. So there I was, the man in tight blue lycra…another day, another outift…dressed not necessarily to impress but definitely to have a bit of fun. Now, what’s next…maybe something cartoony like Batman, Robin or The Riddler….Holy Choices!

My background is writing. It’s what I do and is in my blood. I was a journalist for years whipping off hither and thither to interview celebrities from all walks of life. I was right there back in the days when a little Manc group called Take That first formed – I was one of the first people to interview them and can still remember their giddy excitement at being potential pop stars and getting ‘in the Top 40′. When I first started I worked for the cult magazine Look in! (the Junior TV Times) – happy days – I loved it. Seeing as I’d had my felt-tipped drawing of ET featured in it when I was about 12 it was the magazine I’d always wanted to work for. My first features (written on typewriters!) were interviews with 80s stars like Jason Donovan, Sinitta, Sonia and maybe the lesser-known Reynolds Girls and Blue Mercedes. I adored it! It was the most amazing springboard for the rest of my writing career which took me to mags like My Guy (I was actually in a few of their photo stories believe it or not!), Mizz, Sugar, Sky, Inside Soap, Times, Telegraph, New Woman and loads more.

If there’s one thing I’ve always loved doing it’s interviewing people. That’s why I love having guests alongside me on air now. There are always questions to be asked. Over the years I have had the pleasure to have been rushing a bubbly Britney Spears into the BBC for a photoshoot, chatting to Christina Aguilera live from Las Vegas, hanging out with the delicious Dannii Minogue in Miami and shooting off to Japan with Ant’N'Dec. My writing life has been varied and wonderful and has seen me do everything from edit a free newspaper, be the Editor of the Official East 17 Magazine and be Associate Editor (Celebrities) on the wonderful more! Magazine (best magazine job ever!). One day was working on Position Of The Fortnight, the next would be dying my hair blond for a beauty feature and then it would jetting to LA to interview the stars of Sunset Beach or hang out with porn stars and sex therapists. Bliss.

In an ideal world (no pun intended) my life would be a melting pot of writing books, interviewing celebs and making great TV shows. Naturally with a hefty dose of craftiness thrown in for good measure. Maybe I should set a steamy book in the world of craft. I could call it “Decadence & Decoupage”. Ummmm…now that sounds a salaciously wonderful read…

The reason we chose the Sexy-Mexi theme was because of our Mexican jaunt back in February this year. Ever since we arrived back from the ariba-filled beaches of Sexy Mexico we have been longing to recreate the same fiesta atmosphere and share it with our friends. So, some vital ingredients were necessary. First off you have to have the correct decorations. If our weeks in Mexico taught us anything it was that every corner was bedecked with lashings and layers of deep, rich colour. Wishy-washy hues did not exist – it needed to be bright, bold and beautiful at every turn. So, a quick trawl through the internet furnished us with party packs of bunting, streamers, flags, fake moving Mariachi and an inflatable cactus or two to Mexi-up a typically English garden. Mind you, one of the cacti must have had the prickles on the inside and popped itself as no amount of lung-bursting blowing was puffing it to anything more than a soft, squidgy embarrassment of a plant.

The second ingredient was a decent supply of booze (not that I ever touch a drop you realise – it was just to share among my friends – believe that and you’re loopier than a sack full of jumping beans!). Now, the staple when it comes to causing Mexican mayhem in the drinks department has to be bottles of tequila and zambuca. Shots are most definitely the order of the day and when you add those to the heady cocktail of tequila-flavoured beer, vino calapso, gin, vodka and cider we shipped in, then we tried to make sure that the bar could remain as full and as inviting as the body of an Acapulco cliff-diver or the frill-covered curves of a booty-shaking senorita, depending on your tastes. Food is all important too and thankfully being married to someone who is a whiz in the kitchen meant that the meat, paella and tortillas were free-flowing throughout the entire bash.

What made the party for me though was the people – all dressed up (dog blankets across the land cut into a wondrous array of ponchos), smiles on their faces, ready to mingle and ready to shake their maracas to the beat of the authentic Mexican drum (okay, the sounds of Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Ricky Martin if we’re being honest). But you can have the best music, food, drink and venue in the world but if the people are not enjoying themselves then, as they say in Mexico…cuál es el punto…what is the point?

Okay, so a window got smashed from a touch too much revelry, turning the party vibe momentarily a tad more Chatsworth than Cancun, but when I arose from my slumber the next morning to face Operation Clear-Up, not even my zambuca-sozzled brain pinballing around my skull like a raging bull could stop me from smiling. It had been a night to remember when everybody salsaed and sashayed around with a sexy Mexi swing in their hips. And for being a cracking bunch of truly fabulous people I have to say ‘gracias amigos!’ – I Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi Like You (all) Very Much. Each and every one of you rock…it’s official!